Defibrillation!

defibrillator, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/gradin/3361527/ and http://flickr.com/photos/ddaarryynn/522885793/Jersey City, NJ – In eternal wise-guy fashion, regular riders of the PATH train have adapted the emergency defibrillators recently installed in their stations to a wide variety of uses.

The PATH train, which stands for Port Authority Trans-Hudson Corporation, is a…

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Unlikely Band of Misfits Create Youth Baseball Team

baseball swing, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/psycho-pics/2592093693/Baton Rouge, LA – The sun is shining on the baseball diamond at Shaker’s Field this morning where a group of school children found themselves miserably defeated yesterday. The rag tag assortment of kids, through teamwork and love, overcame all odds and…

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VOIP Gateway Not What It Sounds Like

voip gateway, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/yhancik/1453553806/Huntsville, AL – Nelson Mervin of local software firm SoftHere, was excited to learn that his firm had purchased two VOIP Gateways. That was, until he learned that the gateway had absolutely nothing to do with inter-dimensional travel.

“There…

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Partings and Lamentations: Disavowals of The Times

By Jimmy Wallenstein

disavowals of the times, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/makelessnoise/226654182/

Throwing up their Hands: The Arthur Hadley Wemedges
Arthur and Denise Hadley Wemedge of Harrison, NY and Key Montreux, FL officially sundered their union this afternoon in the clubhouse of Winged Hoof, the nation’s most…

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Lawyers Sue Suit Brokers

suit-brokerBoston, MA — The Boston Coalition of Lawyers, a Boston based group of attorneys, is suing a local business chain for defamation of character and unlawful wordage. The company, Suit Brokers, rents suits and tuxedos “for every occasion” for those who need…

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Extreme Matchmaking in the Digital Age

online dating, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/23905174@N00/2061329074/New Chumpkwah, KT – If you were born before 1970, then chances are you remember a time when dating meant meeting someone at a bar or coffee shop, getting their phone number, calling them and arranging a specific time and place to…

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Local Man Still Pissed About Dumb Crap That Happened Over 10 Years Ago

grumpy christmas, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/krisdecurtis/340555574/ and http://flickr.com/photos/krisdecurtis/340555574/Chicago, IL – As the Christmas season approaches, local man Chuck Tinnert, 28, has begun to attend holiday parties thrown and attended by old friends. He has started to see, as he does every year, old high school buddies with whom he…

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Lawyer-Bird Profiled in Species Report

lawyer bird, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/articnomad/216010885/ and http://flickr.com/photos/keithburtis/2712540324/Des Moines, ID – Each year when the leaves begin to turn and the world is suddenly as colorful as a Thomas Kincade autumnal wonderland, we know that Fall has finally fallen. And with Fall inevitably comes the other great indicators of…

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5 Ways to ‘Go Green’ for the Holidays

green-christmas1

Los Angeles, CA – The official announcement that America is in a recession came right on the heels of Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the season. (Incidentally it is called Black Friday because black is the only color dark…

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Themed Bike Ride Leaves Dozens Injured

night bicycle ride, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/juniorvelo/451533201/ and  http://flickr.com/photos/rene_ehrhardt/2390528757/Los Angeles, CA — The queen of freeways, highways and polluted airways has long been that city of Angels, Los Angeles. LA is the birthplace of car culture and the place where it still reigns supreme.  Recently though our smog-choked beauty has…

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Random Post

Extreme Matchmaking in the Digital Age

online dating, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/23905174@N00/2061329074/New Chumpkwah, KT – If you were born before 1970, then chances are you remember a time when dating meant meeting someone at a bar or coffee shop, getting their phone number, calling them and arranging a specific time and place to…

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Nonsense News is a collection of fake news articles. If you find the stories within to be funny, strange, crazy or just plain weird, that's because they're false, not real, and definitely not to be believed. Our headlines are made up, our quotes are misquoted, and our reports are fabricated... in short, this website is for entertainment purposes only.