Funny Politics News Articles

Politics

Disgruntled Obama Now Considering Death Panels

angry-obamaAfter weeks of diligently beating back unsubstantiated rumors of government run “death panels” which would dictate the fates of the elderly, President Barack Obama today signaled that he is now open to the idea.

Speaking to an AP reporter after a particularly…

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Treasure Secretary Timothy Geithner Asks Congress to Make World of Warcraft Gold into Legal Currency

wowgoldExplaining that “our currency has become deflated and inconstant,” Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner shocked political observers today by asking congress to make World of Warcraft gold into legal currency.

“World of Warcraft has an economy that is strong and trustworthy, and attaching…

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Sarah Palin Checks Into Rehab; Last Six Months Suddenly Make Sense

sarah-palin-dumbWasilla, AK – Political observers were briefly surprised on Sunday when Alaska Governor Sarah Palin checked herself into a rehabilitation clinic for an undisclosed number of narcotics in Wasilla, Alaska.

“This is shocking, completely shocking,” began CNN contributor Melinda Torres. “Well, actually,…

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Rush Limbaugh Calls on Conservatives to Give Sacrifices in his Honor

rush-godThe public argument over who runs the Republican party took a bizarre turn yesterday as Rush Limbaugh demanded on his radio show that “true conservatives show their fealty and give me a sacrifice worthy of my greatness.”

Limbaugh has been the center…

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Obama Playing Video Games on Blackberry All Day

obama-blackberry1

Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings.  Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device…

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No Place for Chuck Norris in Obama White House

Chuck Norris' commentary on Obama, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/kaibara/247465109/Washington, D.C. – In  the wake of a historic presidential election, many do not know what to do with their surplus of political energy. These past months (and for some, even years), have cultivated a large caring-about-politics that was previously just an…

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Equity Loan Crisis Boosts Sale of Greek Revival Columns

greek columns on a modern house, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/rwillock/2486082546/ and http://flickr.com/photos/sevenbrane/2386853999/Desperate times call for desperate measures. On the brink of a contemporary Depression, homeowners are stunned to find themselves facing financial ruin or foreclosure. They are looking for a quick fix and one strange fruit borne from this economic crisis is a…

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Sarah Palin Replaced By Holiday Pumpkin

Palin replaced by Pumpkin, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/newshour/2829926948/ and http://flickr.com/photos/headlouse/1772905192/Washington, D.C. — In a move that political pundits have been calling for for weeks, Presidential candidate and Arizona darling John McCain has replaced Sarah Palin with a holiday pumpkin. Governer Palin has been serving as McCain’s running mate and Vice Presidential…

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Government Auctions Off White House Collectors’ Items

garage sale in washington DC, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/mpmb/130488864/Washington, D.C. – The Federal Government finally seems to have caught on to some of our Main Street logic. The White House announced on Tuesday of last week that in an attempt to raise $700 billion dollars to bail out our crumbling…

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Lawyer Moves From Wall St. to Main St. to Catalpa Rd.

moving from wall street, some rights reservedProvidence, RI – Each of successful lawyer Ron Griswold’s moves during the past decade have bizarrely mirrored the rhetoric of our two prospective presidential candidates. Having started his East Coast life on Wall St. and then moved to Main St., Griswold’s recent…

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Random Post

Octopus Learns to Write, Begs for Freedom

octopus begs for help, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/tclifton/5800509/Monterey, CA — Octavio is not your average octopus. This eight-limbed cephalopod has proven the veracity of the idiom “smart as an octopus” once again. The creature, an inhabitant of the Monterey Pier Ocean Center, has taught himself how to read and…

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