Funny Lifestyle News Articles

Lifestyle

Local Futon Finally Thrown Away

local futon, some rights reserved, http://www.flickr.com/photos/wellohorld/2590886847/Santa Cruz, CA – After a long and active life, local man Steve Forino’s futon has finally been thrown out. Forino put the futon on curb outside his apartment at 9pm Sunday evening. The futon, a full-sized green mattress, was purchased at…

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Unit Heater Heats So Many Units

unit-heater, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/markhogan/3112781424/ and http://flickr.com/photos/mike-burns/6896905/Toronto, CANADA – Many, many units were heated yesterday in the small, northerly hovel known to most as Toronto. As can be imagined, in such an inhospitable, bitter climate (where hardly beast nor man dare venture), the unit heating was met with…

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Partings and Lamentations: Disavowals of The Times

By Jimmy Wallenstein

disavowals of the times, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/makelessnoise/226654182/

Throwing up their Hands: The Arthur Hadley Wemedges
Arthur and Denise Hadley Wemedge of Harrison, NY and Key Montreux, FL officially sundered their union this afternoon in the clubhouse of Winged Hoof, the nation’s most…

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Extreme Matchmaking in the Digital Age

online dating, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/23905174@N00/2061329074/New Chumpkwah, KT – If you were born before 1970, then chances are you remember a time when dating meant meeting someone at a bar or coffee shop, getting their phone number, calling them and arranging a specific time and place to…

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Local Man Still Pissed About Dumb Crap That Happened Over 10 Years Ago

grumpy christmas, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/krisdecurtis/340555574/ and http://flickr.com/photos/krisdecurtis/340555574/Chicago, IL – As the Christmas season approaches, local man Chuck Tinnert, 28, has begun to attend holiday parties thrown and attended by old friends. He has started to see, as he does every year, old high school buddies with whom he…

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5 Ways to ‘Go Green’ for the Holidays

green-christmas1

Los Angeles, CA – The official announcement that America is in a recession came right on the heels of Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the season. (Incidentally it is called Black Friday because black is the only color dark…

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Themed Bike Ride Leaves Dozens Injured

night bicycle ride, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/juniorvelo/451533201/ and  http://flickr.com/photos/rene_ehrhardt/2390528757/Los Angeles, CA — The queen of freeways, highways and polluted airways has long been that city of Angels, Los Angeles. LA is the birthplace of car culture and the place where it still reigns supreme.  Recently though our smog-choked beauty has…

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Local Woman: You Don’t Have to be a Good Singer to Enjoy Karaoke

karaoke girl, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/blueyeda73/496557459/Stockton, CA — Local woman Melanie Jones had been standing on the corner of Smith and Main in downtown Stockton for three days now, barely breaking to eat, sleep and relieve herself. “I feel very strongly about this,” proclaims Jones, as if…

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Local Woman Learns of Divorce Via Twitter

twitter divorce, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/marusula/2225408852/Los Angeles, CA — Marlene Derek is visibly shocked. She sips her Starbucks while half-heartedly checking her blackberry. Derek was happily married for two years when her husband, Michael Derek dropped the bombshell that he wanted a divorce, sending shrapnel into Marlene’s…

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Local Man’s Total Gym Gathering Dust

Orange, CA — Local man Evan Wildes became the proud owner of a total gym three months ago. Wildes saw the 400-pound “all-in-one fitness center” on a late night infomercial and immediately called to order. Gymtrex 3000 functions as a treadmill, bench…

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Random Post

Lawyer Moves From Wall St. to Main St. to Catalpa Rd.

moving from wall street, some rights reservedProvidence, RI – Each of successful lawyer Ron Griswold’s moves during the past decade have bizarrely mirrored the rhetoric of our two prospective presidential candidates. Having started his East Coast life on Wall St. and then moved to Main St., Griswold’s recent…

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Nonsense News is a collection of fake news articles. If you find the stories within to be funny, strange, crazy or just plain weird, that's because they're false, not real, and definitely not to be believed. Our headlines are made up, our quotes are misquoted, and our reports are fabricated... in short, this website is for entertainment purposes only.