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Zoology Major Describes Every Animal in first 13 minutes of Ace Ventura

some rights reserved, http://www.flickr.com/photos/badjonni/527455832/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/tillwe/603936954/Honolulu, HI – At a recent screening of 90′s classic Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, University of Hawaii sophomore Natalie Umbilika, having just declared herself a zoology major, offered up her new-found expertise to some of her new-found college friends.

The movie is…

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Rush Limbaugh Calls on Conservatives to Give Sacrifices in his Honor

rush-godThe public argument over who runs the Republican party took a bizarre turn yesterday as Rush Limbaugh demanded on his radio show that “true conservatives show their fealty and give me a sacrifice worthy of my greatness.”

Limbaugh has been the center…

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Obama Playing Video Games on Blackberry All Day

obama-blackberry1

Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings.  Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device…

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Local Woman: You Don’t Have to be a Good Singer to Enjoy Karaoke

karaoke girl, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/blueyeda73/496557459/Stockton, CA — Local woman Melanie Jones had been standing on the corner of Smith and Main in downtown Stockton for three days now, barely breaking to eat, sleep and relieve herself. “I feel very strongly about this,” proclaims Jones, as if…

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Mick Jagger Declared International Chubby Bunny Champion

mick jagger, chubby bunny, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/cinematography/2249818527/Sacramento, CA – Say what you will, Sir Mick is at the top of his game and the 65-year-old rock icon proved it yesterday by shoving 43 extra-puff marshmallows into his mouth at once: more than any other human on the planet.…

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Outdoor Fire Pit Goes Digital

apple iFire, digital campfire, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/jelles/471147583/Mountainview, CA – As with rubbing two sticks together to make a fire, the days of scraping flint are long gone. So are, for that matter, lighter fluid and matches. The next time you go camping, all you’re going to need is…

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Old Friend Insists that Phil Collins Loved the Polar Bear Tour

polar bear tour, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/marthaenpiet/96337713/Churchill, AK – In a place with as little a human population as Wapusk National Park, it’s nearly impossible to keep anything a secret for very long. Rumors have been flying for weeks that world famous singer-songwriter Phil Collins recently made a…

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Fine China, Thrown Again

fine china, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/kacey3/2002598626/Sacramende, CA – The glistening white explosion, the tinkling crash against the wall, the miniature shards you won’t find in the carpet until a week later with your foot…You’ve just thrown some fine china!

It’s happened to all of us, whether we…

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Chuck Norris Eats Fish Sandwich, Web Goes Ape

Chuck Norris' Fish Sandwich, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/bk/163608/Los Angeles, CA – Local teenager Sarah McBride made ripples in the internet community last week when she blogged about her celebrity spotting at celebspot.com. While walking to lunch with her parents Sunday afternoon, McBride noticed someone doing something that caught her…

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PAW-PALS Bankrupt, Expert Calls “Terrible Idea”

angry cat at PAW-PALS, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/nelsva/67963185/Oroville, CA – A new local business caught much attention last month when it opened its doors. Some were offended by the opulent Grand Opening celebration, but now the streamers have faded and the music is but a distant memory. The hands…

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Random Post

City to Introduce Virus Protection Computer Condoms

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – City officials unveiled a plan Wednesday to cut down on the number of computers infected with viruses by making computer condoms free to the public.

Very similar to the condoms we all know and love, computer condoms will…

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