Funny Business News Articles

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VOIP Gateway Not What It Sounds Like

voip gateway, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/yhancik/1453553806/Huntsville, AL – Nelson Mervin of local software firm SoftHere, was excited to learn that his firm had purchased two VOIP Gateways. That was, until he learned that the gateway had absolutely nothing to do with inter-dimensional travel.

“There…

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Imaginary Business Booms As Economy Folds Like a GAP shirt

Imaginary Business, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/unloveable/2400877902/ and http://flickr.com/photos/roebot/2879330213/New York, NY – It’s hard to escape the economy these days. Once relegated to nerdy bean counters, and unattractive Wall Street broke-vest-work-iters, now it is virtually everywhere and spreading like herpes in a nursing home. It seems that suddenly the real

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Security Cameras and Sympathy Flowers

security camera in flowers, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/99505705@N00/443723434/ and http://flickr.com/photos/glassware/23819364/It is a tried and true trick to call in sick on days when you just don’t want to deal office drudgery or can’t stand to look at your cubicle wall for another hour that week. Not any more my fellow Americans,…

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Equity Loan Crisis Boosts Sale of Greek Revival Columns

greek columns on a modern house, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/rwillock/2486082546/ and http://flickr.com/photos/sevenbrane/2386853999/Desperate times call for desperate measures. On the brink of a contemporary Depression, homeowners are stunned to find themselves facing financial ruin or foreclosure. They are looking for a quick fix and one strange fruit borne from this economic crisis is a…

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Christian Credit Counselors Give Bad Advice To Sinners, Jews

Credit Counseling?, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/baratunde/2907284715/Belmont, GA – Faithful Financial, a non-profit Christian Credit Counseling Service, came under fire (and brimstone?) this week for allegedly giving poor financial advice to people whose lifestyles they disapprove of.

Protesters camping out in the field across from the Faithful Financial…

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Outdoor Fire Pit Goes Digital

apple iFire, digital campfire, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/jelles/471147583/Mountainview, CA – As with rubbing two sticks together to make a fire, the days of scraping flint are long gone. So are, for that matter, lighter fluid and matches. The next time you go camping, all you’re going to need is…

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Magnetic Mattress Pad Only Removes Money

Magnetic Mattress Pad at work, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/kaibara/120816249/Cleveland, OH – The very best scientists that science has to offer, or at least the ones with the cleanest lab coats, have been hard at work lately digging up the answers to a Nonsense News reader’s question. Adam McCharles, of Montpelier,…

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Fruit All the Sweeter for Being Sung To

srawberries, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/clairity/1328402515/Burbank, CA — What kind of music do you like? It’s an innocent enough question. Now, have you ever tried asking a tomato? No, of course you haven’t. Guess again, succotash. Tomatoes love jazz. And nectarines enjoy blues.

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San Jose Car Donation Center an Adorable Wonderland

result of a car donation, some rights reserved http://flickr.com/photos/flisspix/40485935/San Jose, CA – If you’ve been feeling sad lately and Prozac’s just not cutting it, put down the pills and head to San Jose to get a glimpse of the most heart-warming display of childhood utopia ever sanctioned by local government.…

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PAW-PALS Bankrupt, Expert Calls “Terrible Idea”

angry cat at PAW-PALS, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/nelsva/67963185/Oroville, CA – A new local business caught much attention last month when it opened its doors. Some were offended by the opulent Grand Opening celebration, but now the streamers have faded and the music is but a distant memory. The hands…

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Random Post

Pi Omega Omega Literally Goes to Sh*t

Boston, MA – Local Boston University fraternity, Pi Omega Omega is literally and figuratively going down the crapper. The Greek house has suffered bodily and mental damage recently due to a mass body detox gone awry. The forty-eight member group decided to…

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Nonsense News is a collection of fake news articles. If you find the stories within to be funny, strange, crazy or just plain weird, that's because they're false, not real, and definitely not to be believed. Our headlines are made up, our quotes are misquoted, and our reports are fabricated... in short, this website is for entertainment purposes only.