Obama Playing Video Games on Blackberry All Day


Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings.  Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device this past week.

“He’s just always sitting there, not looking at anyone who’s talking to him, just staring at that stupid device.  He needs to constantly be re-fed information, and he never gives any input – just sits there button mashing.”

One aide detailed a meeting regarding the revisions to the economic stimulus package that President Obama has been attempting to push through congress.  According to the aide, the President was looking down, looking very frustrated during the entire meeting, leading several advisers to believe that he was quite angry with them.  It was only when President Obama’s eyes grew large and he exclaimed “Alright!  I got an extra life!” that it became clear to everyone that the President was actually playing a video game on his portable device.

“In some meetings, he’s even been playing games that require sound,” said one baggy-eyed aide who claimed she had been responsible for filling the President in on the happenings of a meeting he had attended.  “Before it was just Prince of Persia, and Soul Caliber, and stuff like that.  Now he’s playing Guitar Hero III during a meeting with the State Department.  I thought (Secretary of State) Hilary Clinton was going to kill him!   Fortunately, she seems to be a fan.  I guess they actually bonded over Rock Band, so that worked out.  But still, I mean, is he going to do this with foreign ambassadors?  Not ALL of them are going to be Mario Cart fans.”

Although the President playing video games during meetings may be a somewhat new obsession, a recent interviewer with Obama Campaign Manager David Plouffe revealed that the tendency for President Obama to become distracted by his favorite device may have been a problem during the campaign.

“The President was always engaged with the campaign,” said Plouffe during an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.  “But there were definitely times, when . . . well, you’d be talking to him, and he’d keep saying ‘uh-huh’, ‘uh-huh’, ‘uh-huh’, and you’d realize that he was updating his Facebook.  Don’t get me wrong, he made a lot of progress showing discipline with the blackberry over the course of the campaign, but I think many of us were dismayed when we heard he was getting a super-secure blackberry so that he could keep that thing in the White House.  Seriously, it’s like creating a super hard to detect strain of heroin so that an addict can take it with him to work.”

“It’s even worse when (Vice-President) Biden’s in the room,” said another staffer who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity but who bears a striking resemblance to   Deputy Press Secretary Bill Burton.  “The two are constantly smirking and giggling for the entirety of a meeting.  They keep looking beneath the table when other people are talking, as if nobody in the room can figure out that they’re texting to each other.”

“It wouldn’t be so damn insulting if they were sitting farther apart,” continued the anonymous source who looks exactly like Bill Burton.  “But they’re like two people apart, and having sat in between them before, let me just say it’s really awkward.  I’m also more than a little frustrated that – from what I’ve seen – when this stuff goes to the presidential records act, it’s going to be chalk full of things like ‘LOL’ and ‘OMG u r so funny!’”

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