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Local Man Still Pissed About Dumb Crap That Happened Over 10 Years Ago

grumpy christmas, some rights reserved, and, IL – As the Christmas season approaches, local man Chuck Tinnert, 28, has begun to attend holiday parties thrown and attended by old friends. He has started to see, as he does every year, old high school buddies with whom he will relive cherished moments from his youth. Among these moments is one that stands out in particular. It is not a happy memory, yet it is one that Tinnert cannot forget. Nor does he seem capable of letting anyone else forget it.

Alan Smithson, also 28, grew up down the street from Tinnert in the suburbs on the north side of Chicago. They attended the same elementary, middle and high school and were close, though not best, friends. Smithson has since moved away to St. Louis, Mossuri but returns to the Chicago area every winter to spend the holidays with his family. Smithson recalls that for the last 12 years, Tinnert has not once failed to recount, in great detail, how in the tenth grade, Ms. Ackers gave Tinnert a “C” in Geometry, despite his “totally deserving a B.”

“Every year it’s the same thing,” says Smithson. “Chuck will be totally fun and awesome, but man, around beer number six or seven, he’ll get this look on his face and you just know you’re in for it.” The “it” that Smithson speaks of consists of a 45 minute average rant about what a bitch Ms. Ackers is and how she “totally had it out for him from day one.” Tinnert will recount how he consistently received B’s on all his tests and turned in “most of his homework on time.” Yet, despite this evidence of obviously deserving a “B” in Geometry, Ackers gave Tinnert a “C.”

Another long time friend of Tinnert, Tom Overton concurs with Smithson. “He does it every year at Billy C’s Christmas Party. He’ll start drinking and we’ll all be talking about high school and the stupid stuff we used to do and then Chuckie will say ‘Hey, who remembers Ackers?’ or something like that. Then he won’t shut up for like a hour about this teacher and how she screwed him over. It was funny the first few years but man, it’s been like ten years now, you think he could just drop it already.” Overton is considering not attending the local holiday parties this year and says his decision is greatly influenced by Tinnert.

Tinnert left Chicago directly after high school and attended the Univ ersity of Michigan for four years, recieving his Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science. He then moved back to Chicago, into an apartment above his parent’s garage and has lived there ever since. He works at a local law office as a Administrative Assistant and has a nice car and a girlfriend of two years. When asked how the notorious “C” has impacted his life, Tinnert shakes his head, pops open another Miller High Life and says, “I got a B on every goddamn test! How do like 10 B’s equal a C? It doesn’t make sense!”

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