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Rabbits Converge on Manhattan, Eat Carrots, Leave

bunny rabbits, some rights reserved, York City, NY – 5th and Broadway, the usually bustling thoroughfare of Manhattan, is silent to today. Sounds of taxi’s honking, people talking, music playing – the area’s typical soundtrack – is today muffled by the soft fur of hundreds of thousands of rabbits. They started arriving around dusk last night. A long-eared blah blah hopped in from the south around 5:45pm. He was spotted by a child, out shopping with his father. That is the first known sighting. Soon more came. And more. And still more. And while the city that never sleeps slept, these rabbits of all shapes, sizes and coats, converged on the city en masse. New Yorkers awoke this morning to find much of SoHo, the East Village and Greenwich virtually uninhabitable.

Citizens could not leave their homes in the parts of the city hit hardest by the Bunny-vasion, as it has been deemed. Certain prominent buildings and hotels even found rabbits in their lobbies, ostensibly having hopped in through the revolving doors. Bankers, lawyers and stock brokers appeared horrified as the A train screeched to halt, the tracks, a pile of hopping fur and twitching noses. Students of area colleges found themselves unable to attend class, taxi drivers could not find a fare and children all around the island squealed with glee.

The inconvenience did seem to put many a friendly New Yorker on edge for the day, but more prominent was the sense of bewilderment. Everyone seemed to be asking each other what could have possibly brought the bunnies upon the city and where they could have come from. The internet was quickly a buzz with theories ranging from underground Mole People-run rabbit farms to terrorist attack. But most theories fell flat and New Yorkers found themselves with more questions than answers.

Then, at dusk tonight, as mysteriously as they came, they left. “It was pretty gradual,” commented lifetime New Yorker Scott Bonett. “They just starting hopping away.” City workers quickly emerged to gage the damage. Said one Manhattan employee, “there’s some chewed up wiring around street level and you can’t find a carrot this side of the Hudson, but other than that, things seem pretty normal.” There was also a thick layer of rabbit fur and little pellets of bunny poop.

The city is now on alert in case any more rabbit invasions occur. New York Mayor Whitey Corngood has already hired a staff to develop a containment strategy and they are said to be planning a “Bunny Baricade” – somewhat similar to the plexiglass pens found in pet stores. “It certainly is the most adorable disaster in New York’s fine and storied history,” Mayor Corngood.  The fur has now been swept away and the poop disposed of. More  carrots are on their way from the Mid West and massive rolls of electrical tape have been passed out to city employees. Although, those allergic to the rabbits are still being advised to remain indoors for another 24 hours.

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