Treasure Secretary Timothy Geithner Asks Congress to Make World of Warcraft Gold into Legal Currency

wowgoldExplaining that “our currency has become deflated and inconstant,” Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner shocked political observers today by asking congress to make World of Warcraft gold into legal currency.

“World of Warcraft has an economy that is strong and trustworthy, and attaching…

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Red Bull Linked to Birth Defects – Really Does Give Wings

red bull wings, some rights reserved http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristic/203050826/The Food and Drug Administration yesterday put a hold and general recall on Red Bull energy drink amid evidence that Red Bull has been linked to several birth defects – principally resulting in the emergence of wing-like growths on the backs of…

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Sarah Palin Checks Into Rehab; Last Six Months Suddenly Make Sense

sarah-palin-dumbWasilla, AK – Political observers were briefly surprised on Sunday when Alaska Governor Sarah Palin checked herself into a rehabilitation clinic for an undisclosed number of narcotics in Wasilla, Alaska.

“This is shocking, completely shocking,” began CNN contributor Melinda Torres. “Well, actually,…

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Zoology Major Describes Every Animal in first 13 minutes of Ace Ventura

some rights reserved, http://www.flickr.com/photos/badjonni/527455832/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/tillwe/603936954/Honolulu, HI – At a recent screening of 90′s classic Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, University of Hawaii sophomore Natalie Umbilika, having just declared herself a zoology major, offered up her new-found expertise to some of her new-found college friends.

The movie is…

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Local Futon Finally Thrown Away

local futon, some rights reserved, http://www.flickr.com/photos/wellohorld/2590886847/Santa Cruz, CA – After a long and active life, local man Steve Forino’s futon has finally been thrown out. Forino put the futon on curb outside his apartment at 9pm Sunday evening. The futon, a full-sized green mattress, was purchased at…

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Rush Limbaugh Calls on Conservatives to Give Sacrifices in his Honor

rush-godThe public argument over who runs the Republican party took a bizarre turn yesterday as Rush Limbaugh demanded on his radio show that “true conservatives show their fealty and give me a sacrifice worthy of my greatness.”

Limbaugh has been the center…

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Really Hot Babe in Really Hot Tennis Apparel Wants to be Taken Seriously

tennis-hottieMaria Stefanopolis, an upcoming star in professional tennis, has enough endorsement deals to spell success in any genre. The blonde haired, blue eyed athlete has secured deals with many athletic wear lines, as well as perfumes, evening wear, and lingerie, and is…

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Unit Heater Heats So Many Units

unit-heater, some rights reserved, http://flickr.com/photos/markhogan/3112781424/ and http://flickr.com/photos/mike-burns/6896905/Toronto, CANADA – Many, many units were heated yesterday in the small, northerly hovel known to most as Toronto. As can be imagined, in such an inhospitable, bitter climate (where hardly beast nor man dare venture), the unit heating was met with…

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Obama Playing Video Games on Blackberry All Day

obama-blackberry1

Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings.  Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device…

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Random Post

Lawyer Moves From Wall St. to Main St. to Catalpa Rd.

moving from wall street, some rights reservedProvidence, RI – Each of successful lawyer Ron Griswold’s moves during the past decade have bizarrely mirrored the rhetoric of our two prospective presidential candidates. Having started his East Coast life on Wall St. and then moved to Main St., Griswold’s recent…

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Nonsense News is a collection of fake news articles. If you find the stories within to be funny, strange, crazy or just plain weird, that's because they're false, not real, and definitely not to be believed. Our headlines are made up, our quotes are misquoted, and our reports are fabricated... in short, this website is for entertainment purposes only.